Never an Easy Road

4th year medical student. Yup, me! *waving my hands*
This journey have not being easy to me. I'm already 26 this year. If I'm lucky and everything goes smoothly which i doubt, I can only graduate when I hit 29 years old. Freaking old. Every one that I meet tend to ask me this question when they got to know my age
"Why now only you are studying?"
And for people that I know even my relatives will ask me
"Don't you feel tired studying?"

OK. Let me answer the first question.
I'm like any typical teen just finish my secondary school in year 2004 and decided to further my studies in college for Information System Engineering a.k.a Software Engineer. To cut short my stories, finally graduated in year 2009 and found a job as a software engineer *duh*
I basically hated my job. Yaya, everyone hate their job. Safe me from all your lectures lah k
I didn't tell my parents how I dislike this job and how stressful the job is. I knew from that time that I don't want to continue my career in this line anymore. And opportunity came where I can further my studies in medicine. Tell me about it. Timing! Basically is not that simple route for me. All the obstacles and crying that I have to go through before entering this course that I shall not mention here. Maybe in another separate post. Yeah, I was accepted to faculty of medicine in year 2010 and here I am. A 4th year medical student in Indonesia.

Second question.
Of course I am tired of studying. DUH!!! Don't ask me stupid question can?
You think is fun studying for so long? Do you know how much stuffs I missed out and since I'm studying abroad do you have any idea how many family occasions I missed out??
So, please stop asking me this STUPID question. FUCK OFF Thank you.
What I can said is just opportunity came and I just grab it without thinking too much.
I know is going to be a long run for me!

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.  - Psalm 37:5

Marriage

Marriage tend to change a person. Their priority is different now as they have their own family to care for. Before my sis got married, we always talk to each other about our life. We can talk about simple stuff no matter how silly it is.
Now, I rarely talk to her anymore. I do make an effort to whatsapps her whenever I got the time but I either gets no reply or just a simple type of reply. She get pissed off easily. Yeah, maybe I say silly stuffs but isn't that how sisters should be? Eventually, I just give up! It really breaks my heart to even think about it. Don't she remember how I stand by her when she fight with her husband? I think that's how human are. They will only remember you when they are upset and when they don't need you anymore, they will just kick you to one side.I envy those that have sisters that care for them. I really do.
Personally, I'm scare of marriage. I'm not saying that all marriage are bad. Just what I see with my own eyes traumatize me.
Who can I turn to when I'm lonely? Only GOD will never leave me and love me unconditionally.

  You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light  -Psalm 18:28